can you eroticize your fears?

pleasure practice inside

I’m going to walk you through a version of an exercise that came from Carolyn Elliot in the book Existential Kink.

If you need further support with this exercise, click here to book a Jam Session.

Let's do some desire mapping first. "I desire _____”

Write as many desires as you can in all areas of your life for five minutes. When you think you've emptied yourself of all desires, keep going.

Then go through your list and choose two or three that feel most alive, triggering, or potent. Pull them out of your list of desires and now catalog your fears around each of those desires.

"I deeply fear having this desire bc I deeply fear that ______”

List all of your fears. Keep going. Empty yourself. Notice if the same fears repeat.

This practice is based on the idea that for every desire you have, there is a deep fear that opposes that desire. It doesn't have to be complicated or profound so trust what comes up first.

I'll share an example from my own practice.

I desire purpose, impact, power, influence, and status. I desire to be in the VIP rooms, behind the closed doors, at the exclusive events.

I deeply fear having this desire bc I deeply fear that the power and influence will be evil and corrupting. I'm afraid that despite all of my truest and best intentions that I will lose sight of my intention behind gaining power.

My purest intention is to infiltrate these rooms and create a pleasure- centered society from the inside-out. To be the secret agent, the covert operative for eros and pleasure.

But what if I can't hold on to that desire and the power becomes too much?

Now, instead of running from the fear or shoving it down and away, I'm going to allow it to move through my body and send it breath and acceptance. It is valid.

From here there are a couple different ways to deal with the fear (although that's not always the point. Fears can exist in the body and we can still get our desires. The goal isn't always to rid yourself of the fear.)

1. Coexist with the fear and make shifts and actions anyway

2. See if you can realistically deal with the fear right now. Is it reasonable? Is there anything you can do in this moment to relieve this feeling? Can you trust yourself to be able to handle it if this fear actually manifests?

3. Do this exercise everyday for a week and see if the fear becomes boring or loses its power over you altogether.

In UNHOLY MONEY™, we do these types of practices and more. We connect with your emotions and fears and leave none behind. This container is a safe space for your deepest, darkest, kinkiest fears.

I am calling you into my pleasure den if you desire this type of permission with money!